Funny Status Ideas

At one point in my childhood, I actually paid money for pieces of cardboard with pictures of pokemon on them. Now I spend money on stuff for my girlfriend that's not even mine. Anybody know where I can still buy those pokemon cards?

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the cup of water. I drank it. - The Opportunist

I nearly invested money in the Egyptian tourism industry. Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme!

Really glad I wasn't asked to give birth to Jesus. Then he would have been born in an unStable.

Some people deserve to get eggs thrown at them. Brick shaped eggs...made of bricks

If they ever put a DUI checkpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru, it's safe to say we're all screwed.

4 out of 5 Dentists Agree: That fifth dentist? Kind of a jerk.