Funny Status Ideas

If a vampire bites a zombie, will it turn into a zombie or will the zombie turn into a vampire?

The moment for calm and rational discussion has passed. Now is the time for senseless bickering.

Dear College Kids, I've been doing all your papers since freshmen year...give me some money. Love, Wikipedia

I hate taking girls to eat at Subway, when they get their six inch sub they look at me and instantly know I've been lying to them.

Constipation and procrastination are similar. In both conditions you don't give a crap.

Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality then any other mammal. Well, that explains Edward...

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.