Funny Status Ideas

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

The Terminator was the ultimate cyber bully.

Call me a lightweight, but I get drunk on one beer. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the ninth or tenth beer.

Tough times shall always pass...some pass like a kidney stone.

Go down a water slide while it isn't wet and you'll understand why foreplay is so important.

I'm not talking about Facebook, I want to know how to block you in real life.

I realize there are better things in this world than beer...but beer makes up for the fact that I don't have any of them.