Funny Status Ideas

Chuck E Cheese's are just casinos for little kids...

I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.

My house looks like I'm losing a game of Jumanji.

‪Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers? ‬

I wouldn't want to be a twin out of fear of not being the "hot one".

Will I understand Error 404 if I haven’t seen the first 403 errors?

Last night I saw a guy talking on a pay phone outside a liquor store with the bike he rode there, lying beside him. One does not have to be CSI to figure out that this is man who has made some bad decisions in his life.