Funny Status Ideas

I wish someone would name a beer "The Mondays." That way whenever someone said they have a case of the Mondays it would be a good thing.

My Christmas tree was too big for the car so I had to cut the top off. It wasn't so bad. I always wanted a convertible anyway.

The comment threads on YouTube are the trailer parks of the Internet.

Screw the road less traveled...it doesn't have 3G.

Whenever I panic about my eventual death I think "Someday an oldies station will play Ke$ha," and I'm no longer afraid.

Microsoft sounds like the nickname for my ex boyfriend.

I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for everyone.