Funny Status Ideas

I love Christmas because I can point at people & scream, "HO! HO! HO!" & claim I was just being festive.

The best way to "baby proof" your house is to wear a condom.

If the image of a koala bear astronaut eating tacos in space doesn't make you smile, seek a therapist.

My kids have my wife's hair. The shower drain has mine.

I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.

Perhaps Voldermort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.