Funny Status Ideas

My dog has been sitting outside in front of the snowman for an hour waiting for it to throw one of those twigs.

Until they create texts that self destruct in 5 seconds, I'd stay away from sexting if I were you.

I have to return this anatomy book because its appendix is missing.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Horror is bad, horrific is bad. Terror is bad, terrific is good? Did I miss something?

I wish the "I'm not a morning person" excuse could apply to whole days.

Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.