Funny Status Ideas

Gold, frankincense and myrrh are Christmas gifts from men who clearly have no idea how to shop for a young boy.

If Penn State offers you a "Full Ride", you had better read the details first.

Never understood why guys would ask for tools. “What do you want for Christmas?” “Chores.”

Put my granddaughter on Santa's lap and said, "All she wants for Christmas is a clean diaper. Can you make that happen, St. Nick?"

I should write down my grandmother's recipes the second she gives them... I'm getting sick of pulling out the ouija board.

To the disabled man who stole my camouflage suit...you can hide, but you can't run.

My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.