Funny Status Ideas

I've had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car.

I bet the minivan industry hates the condom industry.

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them.

They named them oysters because sea loogie didn't sound appetizing.

Parents, give your child a normal name. No one wants to hire someone with a name that sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

The reason why grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.

Keeping the cast of Jersey Shore famous is beneficial because we can collectively learn the long term effects of artificial tanning.