Funny Status Ideas

Saying "don't hate the player, hate the game" is like saying "don't hate the guy who stabbed you, hate that he had a chance to stab you".

4 out of 5 dentists recommend sugarless gum. That means 1 in 5 dentists has business sense.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.

Pet Tip: Put some crazy glue on your cat's favorite place to sit and you can have your very own Sphinx.

They say you are what you eat. So I'm going to start eating skinny people.

I'm never really in a hurry until it's clear that person driving in front of me isn't either.

Auto correct has to be my worst enema.