Funny Status Ideas

I remember when movies had plots and video games didn't.

I just started to finally remember to write 2011, and now I have to start writing 2012.

When my kid announces that she used the potty, everyone’s so proud. I seem to get the completely opposite reaction.

My retirement plan is more of a 401LOLJk

It's Friday! I'm as happy as a newborn in a topless bar!

The best present I get every Christmas day is 11 months of not hearing Christmas carols.

It was right about now that Joseph heard for the 3rd time "sorry but that baby looks nothing like you."