Funny Status Ideas

To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.

The only reason I keep some people's contact info in my phone is to make sure I know NOT to answer when they call.

If steroids are illegal for athletes, shouldn't photo shop be illegal for models?

If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids, why don't that have a Beer Truck for adults?

Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma.

Just burned 800 calories! My microwave fried my Hot Pockets.

Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.