Funny Status Ideas

Don't under estimate me... unless you're trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.

If strippers are now called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.

Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo

So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done.

Life's too short to safely remove a USB.

I drink too much, I smoke too much but honestly, I'm halving the time of my life.

I'm rapidly approaching the age where I will be asking myself each new year, which will I break first? My resolution or my hip?