Funny Status Ideas

If life is unfair to everyone, doesn't that make life fair?

Wanna hear a joke about a pencil? Nevermind, its pointless.

Me, stalk?! No, I just observe.. behind a tree.. at night.

Pretty sure i could never defuse a bomb seeing as I can't even properly eject a USB device from my computer.

There should be a body shop called Auto Correct.

It's so quiet in here I can hear myself think. No good can come of this.

I'm not that bright. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate!" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.