Funny Status Ideas

I'm not 100% what oxidants are, all I know is I'm supposed to be against them.

As an alternative to dieting, I'm going to simply refer to myself as "value-sized".

Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

I love to cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food.

Dress up as stormtrooper. Go into cellphone store. Find the droid you're looking for.

Hey verification code, I have no idea what the hell that says but I swear I'm human.