Funny Status Ideas

Traditions are basically dead people peer pressuring us

If you wear camouflage clothing in public it does the exact opposite of what it's supposed to do.

Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.

February 22, 2022 (2/22/22 Falls on a Tuesday. We'll be able to call it 2's day!

At a recent interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure, I replied the Queen/Bowie version or the Vanilla Ice knock off?

Most meteorologists are men. That's why when they say we're going to get 8-10" inches of snow, we usually only get 3"or 4" inches...

Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.