Funny Status Ideas

You know how some mornings you wake up and you're well-rested, feel good and kinda looking forward to going to work? Me neither.

1 of 3 people have OCD. Look at the person on your left. Now at the person on your right. Now at the person on the left. Now on your right.

You mean it's not normal for the ATM to play a laugh track when it displays your balance?

I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

Dear facewash commercials, People don't actually splash their face like that. Sincerely, my bathroom floor is now soaking wet.

I wonder how many inmates have tried to use Morgan Freeman's Shawshank speech in front of a parole board.

Words With Friends, or as I like to call it, Words With seriously they've got to be cheating.