Funny Status Ideas

Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop...

To catch a Swedish fish you use a gummy worm.

An accurate pickup truck commercial would show people you haven't seen in 5 years calling & asking you to help move a couch.

If weed becomes legal, I cant wait to see the commercials.

It's 2012. How come some restaurants haven't figured out how to split checks? Nobody wants to take a math test after they eat.

Smartphone users need to get their head out of their apps.

Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.