Funny Status Ideas

I'm convinced that one day we'll look back on this and deny everything.

Next time your in a silent elevator ride with a stranger, turn to her and say, "I'm sorry we're fighting."

It's all fun & games until someone slips a paintball into your bag of frozen grapes.

My parents told me I couldn't be a pirate when I grew up. My movie and music collection says otherwise.

If my body worked like a car, I'm sure the "check liver" light would be on.

Say "no" to drugs all you want because talking to inanimate objects is the best way to show people you're sober.

What kind of sick and cruel method do they use to assure that Baby Shampoo is safe for a baby's eyes?