Funny Status Ideas

The weather is such a slut. The wind blows everyone, the rain makes everyone wet, the sun makes everyone take their clothes off, and the snow covers everyone in white stuff.

No pain no gain but also no pain no pain.

Some girls look like they got their makeup done at Sherwin Williams.

I want to be a millionaire. Just like my dad! No, he wasn't a millionaire, but he always wanted to be.

I don't half-ass anything, I prefer to make a complete ass of myself.

If Ray Parker, Jr. "ain't afraid of no ghost," then why does he recommend calling Ghostbusters the minute anything goes down?

Why would anyone lie about liking big butts?