Funny Status Ideas

Welcome to the internet, where men are men, women are men, and pre-teen, bisexually curious, damaged and vunlerable girls are also men.

When are they going to come out with a Valentine’s Day condolence card? “Dear Valentine, I’m sorry I’m your Valentine.”

I use Siri so infrequently these days that when I talk to her it's noticeably awkward, like running into your ex.

You think 7 years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.

You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on Facebook. Why does looking at them make me the weird one?

Today is the more welcomed VD.

With all the discounted Valentine's candy that's available, I like to call February 15th "Lonely People Halloween."