Funny Status Ideas

I never understood the phrase "money doesn't grow on trees." Money IS made out of paper, right?

Barely passed my physical. Didn't pass my mental.

Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.

President Obama to boost Alzheimer's research funding. Obama will also be boosting Alzheimer's research funding.

Make grocery shopping fun....put pregnancy tests in old ladies carts & beer in pregnant women's. Although that's a typical sight at Walmart.....

I already know what my dying wish will be. It will be to stop dying.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked, or homeless?