Funny Status Ideas

They're remaking Pet Sematary, A horror classic about resurrecting things that should stay dead...

Do you think Jesus would have found the acronym "YOLO" a bit offensive?

Aladdin could have just handed the lamp to Jasmine and they would have gained an extra 3 wishes.

Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls

Getting gas. I noticed the person before me on pump 3 bought $1 worth. Where the hell were they going? To pump 4?

‪Sometimes I wonder, what ever happened to those people I gave directions...

Your belly button is just a mouth that you don't use anymore.