Funny Status Ideas

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes

Circles are completely pointless.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

The beer diet is not very good for losing weight. However, if you wanna lose a wallet, phone, or girlfriend... it's perfect.

I was gonna tell a hoarding joke....but I think I'll keep it to my self!

I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over

My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked breakfast. Me: Can we get one?