Funny Status Ideas

What's this so-called "good night's sleep" all about?

Most of the day I try to avoid clocks, because I can't look at them without calculating how much longer until I can leave.

Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Watch their reactions.

I'm officially naming my remote control "Waldo"

Just finished my first book yesterday. 709 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...

You are the reason why I bite the heads off teddy grams!

Google changes privacy act: Unless I'm searching for duct tape, rope and a bottle of Clorox. I don't have much of anything to worry about.