Funny Status Ideas

English teachers put more thought into novels than the authors do.

I wish there was a way to get a restraining order against Mondays.

Wear jeans every day and nobody cares. Wear a shirt twice in a row and you're suddenly homeless in the eyes of everyone.

I'm not crazy, everyone else in the world is just boring.

Chuck E Cheese's is just a casino for little kids...

Kids in back seats cause accidents. Accidents in back seats cause kids.

24 astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?