Funny Status Ideas

Kudos to the guy at Starbucks that said his name was "Bueller"and left before his coffee was done, leaving the barista calling him over and over.

The word "Supernatural" is the opposite to the phrase "super natural"

When an alien race conquers the Earth, the term "Human Resources" will sound a lot more terrifying.

A friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

I have a bumper sticker that says 'Honk If You Think I'm Sexy' so I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!

Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don't want to see a lot of it...

I thought my dryer was shrinking my clothes, it turned out it was the refrigerator.