Funny Status Ideas

We could end world hunger with the amount of crumbs that come from Nature Valley Bars.

I had a Chris Brown joke saved up but it looks like somebody already beat me to the punch.

Based on US obesity rates, soon people will walk for president.

I wonder who is harder to find, Waldo or the father of Snooki's child?

Don't feel like typing a long response to an email? Write a short one and then add "Sent from my iPhone"

If I want something done right, the LAST thing I would do is do it myself.

For all those who answer "how's it goin?" with "can't complain", please review your Facebook statuses