Funny Status Ideas

I'm still kinda pissed they never actually told us how to get to Sesame Street.

Did you know that if you hold your ear close to a random person's thigh, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"

I don't dance anymore because the last time I did it they thought I was having a seizure, and called the paramedics.

People who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit taste like.

I changed all my passwords to "incorrect", that way, my computer just tells me when I forget.

Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants!

Turn off the lights when you leave a room. How would you like it if someone turned you on and then just left?