Funny Status Ideas

The last time i touched a breast it was in a KFC bucket.

Kid's Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren't allowed to vote.

A girl called me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over...Nobody was home

To whomever hacked my phone and saw the naked pictures of me... Sorry, but That's what you get.

What's the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the toilet plunger in the toilet.

There's a special place in hell for murderers and the guy who decided what time breakfast ends at McDonalds.

They should stop lying about their ages. Surely they must be Thirtysomething Mutant Ninja Turtles by now.