Funny Status Ideas

What's the dividing line between emo and grumpy? It is age or wardrobe?

Took a friend's advice to help me sleep better & tried bringing a book to bed but it's so hard coloring in the lines while I'm lying down.

If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely.

Arguing politics is like trying to convince Jesus that God doesn't exist, then holding your breath and stomping your feet when he disagrees.

I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people.

Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. Ready or not here I come...

Remember, there are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for you. Push and Pull.