Funny Status Ideas

I am not slurring, I am speaking in cursive.

If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?

Craft time with the kids. One just ate enough glitter to crap a Lady Gaga costume.

I just started dating a homeless girl and it's great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.

We should all be thankful for Facebook & twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we may never actually SEE our friends again.

Having sex with me is like reading an iTunes agreement: It takes forever and few people choose to do it.

I'm tired of money playing hard to get.