Funny Status Ideas

Leaving your turn signal on while driving is the road form of leaving your fly unzipped.

Darkest: the exact moment you’re trying to find your seat at a movie.

I think I was mistaken when my boss told me she liked to see me hard at work.

God must love stupid people. He made a lot of them.

I do what the little voices inside my wife's head tell me to do.

Mexican food is good for indecisive people. All the ingredients are the same. You just have to pick a shape.

I'm happier than Paula Deen in a hot tub full of butter.