Funny Status Ideas

Ends will never meet while you're sitting on yours.

The first five minutes gym class was brutal. It turns out the first five minutes gym class was only stretching.

The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable.

To PETA, Hamburger Helper is just an accessory to murder.

Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime Boarding School every year, never to be heard from again.

My girlfriend used to date a clown before we dated. So I have some pretty big shoes to fill.

Live today like it's your last! (but use a condom just in case it isn't)