Funny Status Ideas

The Little Mermaid was basically a hoarder.

I didn't trip. The floor gave me a dirty look, so I attacked it.

I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped and shattered my phone.

An economist is just someone who's job is to make a weatherman look accurate.

If you ever laugh so hard that your ass actually comes off, stuff probably stops being funny really quickly.

My mom texted me "What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?" I answered: "I dont know, love you, talk to you later." Mom: "Ok, I'll ask your sisters"

Have you seen the new movie "Constipation"? It hasn't come out yet.