Funny Status Ideas

If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.

If you do it right the first time, they'll ask you to do it again.

Socks have the highest divorce rate.

I would rather get naked and do jumping jacks in public than show any literate person my Google search history.

Hypochondriac: a person who’s determined to get their money’s worth out of a health insurance policy.

Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.

Any psychic who dies from anything other than old age sucks.