Funny Status Ideas

I used to be in a band, we were called 'lost dog'. You probably saw our posters.

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong...

I used to work at a bakery. It was a crumby job, but I made a lot of dough.

Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal

If the pen is mightier than the sword, how is it that actions speak louder than words?

You call it Monday, I call it "post-weekend depression."

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face.