Funny Status Ideas

Midwife - People helping people get people out of people.

It's only a matter of time until Facebook adds “friend-zoned” as a relationship status.

Living with a toddler is like using a blender with no lid.

If good things come to those who wait isn't procrastination a virtue?

Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you've got, watch him walk through a spider web.

I'm not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during "If I could turn back time" does she think about killing Hitler.

When your pants are on fire the fact that you're lying suddenly becomes much less important.