Funny Status Ideas

Toilet paper is a lot like money... You never seem to have any when you need it most!

Everyone please be courteous and set your cell phones to lebron mode, no ring

"You're one in a million" means that there are over 6,000 people just like you.

My relationship with my Ex was very psychological...she's psycho and I'm logical.

It doesn't matter how many times you looked, when your mom looks, she will find what you were looking for.

Interviewer: "We want to hire responsible people." Me:"Great! When things go wrong people always say say I'm "responsible".

A relationship without trust is like a phone with no service. What do you do with a phone with no service? You play games.