Funny Status Ideas

There is no "I" in "team", but apparently there is one hidden somewhere in "group project."

Don't call them hobos. Call them "people with earning disabilities."

My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy...

Saying, "we can still be friends" after a bad break up is like saying, "the dog died but we can still keep it."

Santa goes to your house, down your chimney, and watches you while you sleep and everyone adores him. But I do it ONE time...

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

On average, humans have one testicle.