Funny Status Ideas

keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in the closet?

The Kardashian jokes have already lasted longer than their marriage did.

Have you ever wondered how long it would take for a giraffe to throw up?

If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.

Listening to "eye of the tiger" cranked up is better than any energy drink out there.

"I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others"- The phrase that started Facebook

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.