Funny Status Ideas

If life is supposed to flash in front of your eyes before you die, will Roger Ebert just see a bunch of movie clips?

No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.

If some one had really invented a time machine in the future, we'd know by now..

I opened up a bottle of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.

If a wheelchair athlete used WD-40, would it be considered a performance enhancing substance?

If corn oil is made from corn...what is baby oil made from?

I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!