Funny Status Ideas

Apparently, Twilight is “so popular” because teenagers can relate to it. “Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a Vampire."

These animal crackers suck the elephant tasted exactly like the giraffe!

A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.

Be a pessimist, you're always either right or pleasantly surprised.

The first word I want to teach my kid is "brains". Then, until he/she learns another word, I'll have the cutest little zombie ever!

Last night we were in bed and I asked my wife "What would you like to do to my body more than anything else?" She said "Identify it."

If a person is born deaf, what language do they think in?