Funny Status Ideas

My wife was admitted to the hospital last night. She's in the Expensive Care Unit.

The most determined look I've ever seen on a human being is the airline passenger trying to fit a large suitcase in a small overhead bin.

Learn how to spell. Auto correct isn't always write.

Apple was going to make an Ipod for kids, but Itouch kids isnt a very good marketing name.

I'm not saying lets kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying lets remove all the labels and let the problem sort itself out.

My mom and dad just told me that I was adopted... last week by another family.

Every time I go to the pool in my bathing suit I can feel all the women dressing me with their eyes.