Funny Status Ideas

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I have alzheimer's....hey I just met you.

Broke a light bulb today. Seven years of bad ideas?

There's no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.

Politics - 'Poli': latin for "many." 'Tics': blood sucking insects.

Dear Inventor of the Keyboard, Why did you make the "t" and the "g" so close together? I keep signing my letters "With Retards"

Finding a whole worm in your apple isn't as bad as finding half of one.

Whenever you feel like a genius, remember there was a time in your life when you were learning to not crap your pants.