Funny Status Ideas

Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?

Let's take a moment to thank God for not having spiders fly!

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

I heard a good Chris Brown joke but I can't remember the punchline.

I hate being bipolar. It's awesome!

I couldn't figure out how to get my seat belt in, but then it clicked.