Funny Status Ideas

Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead. The sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

My alarm clock is clearly jealous of the relationship I have with my bed....

Never fight anyone who bows to you first.

Maybe its Maybelline...or maybe its Photoshop.

I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire...

My friend was complaining that my car doesn't have enough get up and go. I said, no, but it has plenty of get out and push!

Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary...that's what gets you.