Funny Status Ideas

The last time she got 100% on a test it involved peeing on a stick.

Each day is like a gift. A gift from someone who doesn't know your size and doesn't bother to include the receipt.

You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It's strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Note to self: A cops' favorite two words are; "Make Me." avoid these next time.

I am dyslexic, I walked into a bra

My doctor prescribed me medicinal marijuana to treat constipation. He told me to shit or get off the pot.