Funny Status Ideas

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable and irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

I'm CDO, it's like OCD but it's in the right order like it should be

Do you suppose deaf people go completely bananas when they are trying to read lips and someone is chewing gum?

Dating your ex again is like buy your clothes back from GoodWill...There's a reason you got rid of it in the first place .

Bitches or not, 99 problems is still a a lot of problems

Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in the jeans.

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.