Funny Status Ideas

Hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it?

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Bored? Send "I hid the body. What's next boss" to a random number.

Why is hair darker when wet if water is clear?

You can't be late until you show up

If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, then when I get tired, I put the mirror down.